Local Shop Owner Puts Menorah in Store Window, is Woke

Charlie Root

A local pawn dealer, located just around the corner on 1300 South and 1500 West recently received a Congressional Medal of Honor for the act of putting up a menorah in their window!

The pawn shop has been acknowledged by Congress for being “revolutionary” in their acceptance of ethnic and religious minorities. Our president actually went down to their store and asked their owner, Richard, a few questions. After a quick interview with Richard, we realized that he didn’t actually know how to pronounce menorah let alone know what it is, which is slightly heartbreaking but a touching story nonetheless. With the Christmas lights around his store and the red and green menorah in the window, we slowly began realizing that he doesn’t actually care about cultural sensitivity because he’s only aware of Christmas. Richard’s entire world exists in a small Christmas-themed snow globe without dimension or spirit, ignoring those outside of it, and forcing those inside to conform. The incredible social revolution that this has caused in intercity America will be recognized for generations as on par with the Summer of Love in ‘67. Personally, I think that this is one of the most important events in civil rights history and will make a statement for the coming generations. The spectacular and beautiful change that starts here will carry a strong message for the coming eons. Thanks, Richard, for keeping us all woke.